Stumped and Stupefied
Blog :Mothering Multiples.........
Date: 9/3/2012 9:47:21 AM
I just realized that its been ages, simply AGES since I posted anything about the twins
Its a different matter that they are growing up (figuratively, since Shobby refuses to budge upwards ) so fast that I’m having trouble keeping pace with the rapidity of their thoughts. Add to it, their intense desire to speak only in English (more broken than a smashed cup of tea) and I’m left either gurgling with laugther, or stupefied.
Its mostly the latter, obviously.
So there we are, getting ready to sleep and I yell out to the kids, “Come here, you both. Come, so jayenge”.
So little Shobby runs up to me and says, “No mumma….not say ‘so jayenge’. Say ‘Come to the sleep’ “.
Me : Erm…hehe!! Right.
Shobby : No mumma, aap bolo. Say, Come…..
Me : Come…..
Shobby : Tooooo…
Me : Tooo…
Shobby : The….
Me : You don’t need ‘the’. Just say “Come to sleep”.
Shobby : No mumma. Aapko nahin aata. Say, ‘Come…..’
Me : Not again.
Shobby : Jaldi bolo mumma…..sone ka time ho gaya hai.
Lui was dilly-dallying in the morning and I was running fater her, urging her to hurry up and get into the bathroom.
Me : We’re late sweety, jaldi karo. c’mon, remove your panty.
Lui : Not say panty mumma, say unna-waaayyy.
Me : Underwear.
Lui : No. Unnawaay, UNNA-WAAYY.
Me : Thats what I said, underwear.
Lui : No Mumma,say Unna..
Me : Unna..
Lui : Waaa..
Me : waaa..
Lui : Ayyyy..
Me : Ayyyy…
Lui : Unna-waayyy.
Me : Unna-waayy.
Lui : Wow mumma! Good Job.
I had to pull down some stuff from the top of the cupboard where I had shoved it a few weeks back. The chair which I used to keep in my room was missing. So I asked Shobbs to hunt for it. He came back saying that there was one chair in the FIL’s room. I told him to check if there was another in the BIL’s room. Shobs ran to the BIL’s room and when he didn’t return a minute later, I thought he must have forgotten about it and would have gone to play with his sister in the drawing room.
So you can imagine my surprise when I went to the BIL’s room and found my little midget struggling with dragging the chair out.
Me : Shobby, what are you doing? Stop. I’ll take the chair.
Shobby : Mumma, aap hato. Aapko lag jayega. Yeh chair heavy hai. Aap room mein jao, mai lekar aata hoon.
Me : Sobby sweety, you will get hurt.
shobby : Nahin mumma, aap girl ho na, aap ko lag jayega. Aap jao, mai lekar aata hoon.
And much as I worried about him tripping and landing with the heavy chair on him, a part of me swelled with pride at the sign of chivalry from my little boy and a part of me wanted to whack him for believing that girls are weaker. But his chivalry won over my feminism!
Needless to say, he dragged in the chair to my room shortly, all smiles and eager to please.
I, of course, smothered him with kisses
He wouldn’t be pulling in chairs for me any longer
A few days back, I nearly blew my steam when the twins messed up the house (note, I said house and NOT room!) and I was sick and tired of picking up after them for the umpteenth time. For the record, I ask them to clear up the mess first, an order which is followed to some extent by Shobs and to no extent by Lui . Once they are loathe to move even a finger, I chip in and clear up the remaining mess.
So there we were….I was tired after a tiring day at work and the twins weren’t making it any easier by spilling water by the glassfuls, dropping food and tearing up bits of paper into even tinier bits of papers. The MIL had a tiring day herself and I guess she was just as irritated as me at the appearance of the drawing room. She told me, in no uncertain terms that the hall must be cleaned up. I agreed. And yelled out to Lui and Shobs. Both of them came up to me, like timid rabbits but with the devil dancing in their eyes.
“WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU TWO ARE DOING?!! LOOK AT THE MESS IN THIS ROOM. I WANT BOTH OF YOU TO START CLEANING UP RIGHT NOW!!!”
Lui looks up at me, exaggeratedly rolls her eyes and says, “Okay…okay… OKAAAAAY!!! Kitna chillate ho aap!! My head is paining”.
And without a backward glance, she went back to playing with her doll.
Me :Wait an effing minute!! You aren’t supposed to say that until a decade later! Ya Allah….if this is how she behaves now, what will I have to face when she is in her teens??
The twins are getting ready to go to a birthday party. Lui, as usual, hogs the mirror, turning left and right to check all her angles.
Shobby observes her seriously for a while. Then turning to me, he says with a small smile,” Mumma, Lui heloine dikhti hai na”.
And shortly after I dress him up, he preens himself and claims solemnly, “Mumma, mai jab jeans pehenta hoon na, ekdum hero dikhta hoon”.
Its my turn to roll my eyes furiously