The Other's Perspective.

Author : Ajay Kontham™      Blog :The Shaded Shadows™ !!!      Date: 8/24/2012 5:19:00 AM

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Other's Perspective - The Feedback.

A session at training was about what you like and don't like in others and this time its the class members. Everyone was excited and wanted to write whatever they had in mind about other people. The Business Skill (BizSkill) Faculty mentioned about the openness to feedback before letting us know about the activity. Feedbacks are for the improving self and they should be taken in a positive sense. Though the fact that people would hate to change themselves because of the little inhibitions they are so obliged to, but it is not what the others like about that person. Change is good. Feedbacks are the chance to know what other people think about you which one doesn't know about themselves. May be we think we have some kind of impression on others , which is totally self assessed. Our behavioural traits are some which encapsulates to think what others might be thinking of us. But the thinking is different for each person and the impression that others make have varied responses depending on the person. 

Coming to the activity at hand, a page having their own name was to be passed around the class and each one had to give their opinion - the good things and the other things which are to be improved marked by a Happy Smiley  [ :) ] and the latter with a sad smiley [ :( ] . I was expecting an empty page to be returned to me. And if it wasn't empty, I knew what they were going to write in the :( section which would be advicing me to talk more often. But, after getting back the whole paper back which was surprisingly full, I had to reconsider what I had been thinking about the impression what others have. Like I mentioned in the earlier para about the change of opinions / impressions between self and the other people. So, now I would present you the whole new Perspective of what other's think about me. Lets start with the easy part which is [ :( ] .

[ :( ] - The Not-So-Good-Things-In-Me / To be improved

1. Less Talkative
2. Be confident wile presenting.
3. U talk less.
4. May be you can open up a but more with people, with girls especially.
5. Always silent.
6. Ur not interactive even to 30% .When we ask something, will behave like why you are asking me.
7. Be more Interactive.
8. Is not very interactive. Speaks only when probed.
9. Be active always. People like to talk to you. 
10. Talk to people. You really talk good, if you talk.
11. Silent Killer. Need more interactiveness.
12. Be active and go for punch dialogues on everyone as you are doing it on Ramana, right now. ;) :D
13. Keep adding smilies. :)
14. Be interactive yaar. We are missing your rocking friendship. Just keep rocking.
15. Try to interactive with gals.
16. Try to open your mouth.
17. Better interactive with everyone.
18. Don't be Silent in the class and be interactive.
19. Be talkative.
20. Speak more, at least in presentations. (that is the only thing, stopping you from being Mr.Perfect).
21. I like you as you are that why we are best pals.
22. Plz Plz try to speak with all (mingle with others).
23. Try to talk with friends.
24. Talk and interact with everyone.
25. Be interactive.
26. Be more interactive.
27. Please talk and mingle with all.

The Response.

Most of the people want me to be more interactive. And most of the people want me to talk more rather than staying silent. Some want me to talk to girls. Starting with the talking part, I talk a lot, and people have no idea how crazy I get. Ask my batchmate(s) who site beside me on both sides. They will tell you about the real me, not known to most people. And the other people don't know because I don' interact. Now, my inhibition on such a situation at hand, it may sound stupid but I really can't help. I really want to talk to people most of the time. Once I get to know the person well, there is no stopping me. My batch mate often comments - Who said that AJ never talks, now he is just killing (likewise) with his counters. I just need to get to know a person a little well enough that they won't take seriously when I joke. So, as I was saying my inhibition when it comes to the rest, the question in my brain that floats around is What will the other person think ? The thing that the other person doesn't think at all or doesn't mind doesn't get through my mind. And I am stuck at the single notion that they won't be taking in the right way. Coming to girls, I just don't take a chance because its better to be a unknown fool than be a known fool. And the same questions pester my mind which hold me back. The second in my list is the facial expressions. I don't know how but I feel that the other person is not interested by looking at them while talking. And why would I take such a risk when I can sit at the corner and do whatever I want to do.

But Thanks a lot. I seriously need to improve that, I mean like damn seriously. Now, individually...

2. I am trying to, but I fail all the time. :sadface

4. I will try to, thanks. But.... hmm.. yeah will try. I can be good at talking online, you know like chatting. Not enough ? 

6. I am sorry about that percentage of people I am interactive. And I am really sorry that I behave like that. Thanks for letting me know. Do I really do like that,..well whatever thanks for bringing that up.

8. At least I talk when probed, right ? Thats' good, right?  No?

9. 'People like to talk to me'. I am surprised. Thanks for letting me know. Will improve myself.

10. I will. And am I good when I talk ? I don't know. But hey, thanks. Will do my best, or will try to.

11. Silent Killer ! I see. 

12. Sure thing, bro.

13. Another sure thing, bro. Will try to. :)

14. I will try to be. You miss that ? Damn! I never realized that. Sorry. Will work on myself to improve.

20. The Mr. Perfect name is used as a Sarcasm. It is not true. What me? Mr. Perfect? All the remaining boys would kill themselves. #Kidding

21. Thanks man, I appreciate your friendship. 

22. Will try to . 

The remianing people want me to talk more and be more interactive and also mingle with all. Thanks for letting me know what you think about me and I will try to improve myself upon it. 

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[ :) ] : What People Like In Me.

1. Good attitude ad I like the way you are.
2. Thought you wont migle but you came out of that zone.
3. Very Silent.
4. I started folowing your blog, 'shadows' & it is impressive tha you handle both blogging & photography with perfection!
5. Good photography, friendly.
6. I like your photography skills.
7. Good in nature. 
8. Good atured, taleted Photographer.
9. Nice airstyle & smile. You always smile.
10. Mr. Perfect.
11. Good in work and thinking.
12. Good handskills.
13. Mr. Pefectionist/ Photographer.
14. Smart and Good - Mr. Perfect.
15. Smart and really you're Mr. Perfect.
16. You are something special.
17. Your photography is 5/5 rating.
18. Good Friend.
19. Perfect and Good guy.
20. Creative, Genius, Good, Simple, Stylish.
21. Smartass, friendly, best pal, chroic blogger
22. Friendly, calm.
23. Friendly, very very calm.
24. Very Calm
25. Mr.Perfect.
26. Mr.Perfect
27. Silent.
28. Very good at photography.
29. Cool and calm.

The Response

1. I have attitude? I never knew that. What I knew was that I had attitude which is not good, so I stopped calling it attitude.
2. Thanks, I guess.
3. hmm,...
4. Wait? What ? No. You don't want to start forgetting what you know, do you ? My blog is about the daily chores and all that stuff about people. And thanks, I am good at those two things only. And if you are following seriously, lemme know.
5. Thanks.
6. Thanks again.
7. Thanks.
8. Thanks.
9. My Hairstyle? Thanks. And I don't think I have a good smile. I always smile ? I do that?Damn! I don't about myself. And thanks, again.
10. You don't mean it, do you? Come on, me? Mr.Perfect ? But hey, thanks. 
11. Thanks.
12. Thanks.
13. Mr.Perfectionist ! OMG ! But thanks.
14. Smart ? Am I ? But, Thanks.
15. Thanks.
16. Who wrote this? I am something special ? To whom actually. Please enlighten me and put me out of this question box.
17. Thanks. 5/5? Thats more than I deserve.
18. Thanks.
19. Perfect? I seriously doubt that. But, thanks.
20. Creative ? Genius ? Stylish ? I doubt. I doubt. I doubt. But, if you think thats what I am, well Thanks. :)
21. You got that right, bro. :P
22. Thanks. But I wish I was a little more friendly.
23. Thanks.
24. Yeah! Thats' good or bad ? 
25. No way! But thanks.
26. Thanks, I guess.
27. Yeah. Good or bad ? 
28. Thanks.
29. Thanks again.

So, in this brief feedback, one can know a lot about others. I came across a lot of things. I had predicted an empty paper to show on my face. But it was filled with mostly one thing - Be more Interactive. 

So, now it becomes my responsibility to keep up what's good in me. And I really really really really really need to work on the things that I need to improve.

And Thanks all, who wrote and gave your valuable suggestions and feedback. Somewhere down the lane, when we meet again, I may be a changed person and may meet with your expectations.