The dark quiet hours of the night. Even the hazy wasteland of the day turns into a beautiful creation. I see nighttime through the fractured lense of an occasional insomniac.
People sleep when I stir. I doze as others awaken. I never know whether this is becoming into an habit or this is just the heat not letting peaceful sleep surround me.
Even the online world is quiet at my normal midnight. My loved ones certainly are.
The dark of night has exclusive hold on feelings and sensations the daylight can vanquish. A loneliness born of half dreams and a mind left defenseless by an exhaustion too complete for mere sleep.
You would think that – after someone spends several days with little sleep at night and reaches the point where he can’t finish a sentence and his brain is mushy enough to be mistaken for cottage cheese – well, you would think he would easily fall asleep the instant he falls back into bed.
You would think that.
But I don't. I long for the beautiful night in a place untouched by technological civilization so much that, only concrete and hot filthy air surrounds you. Its calm, cool, dark and still bright.. like a bright girl in her full young age wearing a black suit with diamond-ornamentry in it.. silent but saying everything.. expressing love with a serene life..
The only time when there's no one thinking of you. Or expecting from you. Your shoulders are free. The only time when you can become a Hulk even if you are the slimmest & flattest girl in your group.
What I feel.. is real. Just over-heightened perhaps. Maybe a little too raw to explain. It’s enough to make you want to run.. to the moon, perhaps. If I wasn’t so tired, maybe I would.
Meanwhile, I browse and learn a lot of interesting things while trying to dull myself to sleep. May come in useful someday.
See? Some benefits at least.