It was truly a sad year for a sport. One of the age old games lost its patriarch. Little kids no more had the idol they looked upon to emulate in Hide and Seek. Yes, Obama Bin Laden died this year. A sad day for a few countries it was. They lost their partner whom they have been hiding and seeking since the Afghan war of 2001. 10 years isn’t a small period. This legend of the game has left a hole literally. The hole is in Pakistan and the world has seen through it. Obama Bin Laden can probably win his re-election now. WAIT, was that OBAMA or OSAMA? Chuck it, how does it bother a North Korean?
North Koreans have lost their “Dear Leader” to natural causes. What came to him naturally other than death were some miniscule talents that America and the West didn’t like him replicating. Stuff like producing nuclear weapons, going to war, repressing the public, no human rights or captive prisoners of war. These things just came naturally to this man – Kim Jong-il. But you know what? North Koreans needn’t worry because they have another Kim to replace him. A certain, Kim Jong-un. Wait or was it Kim Jong-nam. Kim Jong-chul is also possible. I’m sure it was Kim Jong-suk. But I’m sure their grandfather’s name was Kim something-something. Maybe Kim Kadarshian knows them? Forget it, Muammar Gaddafi would probably ask from his grave now – “What’s in a name”?
That touché line was written by Shakespeare years ago. But is still relevant in modern day English where “Wherefore” became “Why” to “Y”. Gaddafi did a few things in his life. He waged war against Egypt, the Lockerbie bombing, occupied Chad and killed a few thousand people enroute to his publicized death. That’s all! Who cares what happens there because Twitter was busy figuring out the spelling of this man. Muamar Gaddafi, Muammar Gadaffi, Muammer Gaddaffi or was it Muamer Gadhafi? Uff, these news papers confused the living hell out of all us spelling his obituary. That maybe would have hurt this caresser of wars a lot. But then we just have to move on to better things in life. That is the life.
So, better things in life? For example - Poonam Pandey. People took more interest in her countdowns on social network as against even the New Year’s countdown. The exterior reduced with each count. People awaited the visuals and criticized her for not keeping up her promise to the Indian Cricket Team. Indians were let down by this “no let down” by Poonam. Sigh! Who are we to complain? Pakistan can do just better once in a while. They had a new bomb which was ISI approved. No kidding! It was tattooed onto this girl. Veena Malik just opened the world’s view of Pakistan with gaping mouths. Yet she had to follow the ISI directive and say “No, that wasn’t me. It had my stamp all over the place but it wasn’t me”. Whoever noticed her or not Mr. Bhatt would surely have. After all, the other girl in Big Boss knows what it takes to get a lead. Now stop your imagination. I was only talking of their ability to talk their mind and to be an open book let out bare for scrutiny by the public. That guts to expose their errr… personality is what I was talking about. Money doesn’t matter to them.
Money doesn’t matter to a lot of people. Like to a man who holds two ministries currently. His theory of “Zero-Loss” should be advocated at leading business schools all over the world. This economic theory just put him one step ahead of Amartya Sen and has Paul Krugman still figuring out how to phrase his column out for The New York Times. Let’s say we can use his theory when we have to repay our loans to The World Bank or talk our way through the IMF. I see a huge potential in this man, he can actually save recessions simply by censoring any news of it. So you see public opinions don’t matter to this man.
Illustration : SHUAIB AHMED
But public opinions matters to some. India, like the world saw spectacular movements this year; some fascinating support to uplift the democratic values of this country. The anti-corruption movement found its roots in forging travel bills, not paying dues to the IT Department and stamp duty evasion. We look upon this great Team to fight corruption (no pun intended) but then someone can steal their thunder. The Upper House just decided it’s time to sleep at 12, nailing the final nails onto the democratic coffin. Talk of digging your own grave. Democracy was milked; the cow was left starving as if from a hunger fast. The old man was told – “Look Pal, NO LokPal”. The fluctuations in sentiments were much like the Sensex.
Whoever understands these scrolling numbers on TV called sensex? The red and green arrows just don’t make any sense to most of us. We just stare at them and say, “You know the sensex crashed today!” and the guy opposite you nods his head as if a death just occurred. The past year saw the index just crashing and crashing. 20000 dropped to 15000. I don’t know why I’m saying this apart from the reason that I bloody am losing money in it and hell that’s enough reason. They say India saw a drop in FDI’s so the crash. That sounds like FDI is Viagra for senSEX. A lot of souls like me are wandering about figuring out “How to make money fast”. I don’t know if A.Raja knows the secret but Vijay Mallya knows how to lose it as well. This bird suddenly became flightless and maybe on the verge of extinction, but the Kingfisher calendar should be as a law given Bail-Out if ever required. My tax money should be put to good use. I insist.
Every year great people die. Every year bad people die. Every year scams break out. Every year movements take place. Every year celebrities do something crazy. Every year some sport cherishes a country. Every year dates change. Every year life moves on. Every year is just the same as last year, only that your memory fails to capture the good and the bad of the previous year. Every year, you decide whether to find the good and live or dive into the bad and crib. Every year I just see the satire of it. Every year starts with a “Happy new year”. Every year ends like how you want it to. Every word of this paragraph is the most satirical of this article.
2012 will not be any different from 2011 or 1745.
But the Mayans seem to be having a different idea.