A new phase starts
Blog :Life and Times in Bangalore
Date: 6/5/2012 3:26:49 PM
After a second long trek across town last Saturday, we ended the evaluations phase of our lives. For now at least! We’re finally comfortable that we’ve done what is required to help assess the issues we need to help Son with. Since we’re working on the next steps, now the challenges are:
- to keep at it, observe and assist, consistently; and
- breathe, let go and start to live a more normal life again.
This last remaining step was long required. It has helped give us an awareness of son’s strengths (professionally assessed, so that this is more than parent bias) and a tiny little puzzle piece of the solution. Knowing what we know and doing what we already are, this is welcome news.
Phase Two now starts. Our challenge this year shall be to normalize – finally understand where he’s facing issues above and beyond another child his age/temperament/abilities. As adoptive parents, this was tough. Then it was tough as parents of a child who needed more (and shall continue to need more for a bit longer) from us as parents. Between the solutions evolved and his development, it shall hopefully get better for us to be ‘just’ parents. The challenge as always is in operationalizing what we know instinctively is required.
Will I be able to breathe and not think of what could be going wrong when he is not around me? Will I be able to recoup and not react…be that neutral wall that gathers information first? Will it ever be possible to completely trust his side of the story, knowing the challenges he faces in interpreting emotion?
And yet, we need to do all this and more. My solution is to get other things happening in my life, to ensure that I stay engaged – not overwrought. I know this year has added a lot of gray hair to my head. I also know it has brought personal development like nothing else. I think I know why kids with different needs are born – we need to become better people as a whole, more capable of love and giving and all this based on stuff outside of appearance, behaviour and politically correct stuff.
In the midst of all this, read IHM’s post on how people supposedly get pregnant to shirk work. If only they knew how fricking misguided that thinking is. Even my 9 year old knows what it takes to raise her doll! Are you kidding me?!
We’re officially back in school mode, schedules and all. Still grateful – make that very grateful, Son is going back after a loooong break. He has a place to go back and gratitude to be going back. For today, that’s a lot!