Fresh after being bitten by the writing bug, I approached a published author. “I have written some short stories, how can I publish them?” I had asked. He said, “Contact a publisher only when you have an edited manuscript worth 50,000 words. And remember there is no guarantee that your stories will be published.” What!! Strain the neck and tire the fingers typing fifty thousand words, with the caveat that the herculean effort was likely to go waste? For a person who revels in her slumberland, it was too much to ask. You see, I am inherently blessed with lethargic bones. Idling is to me, like ogling is to Ranjeet.
‘Forget it,” I would rather blog, I thought. “Why should any story or character confine me?” So I continued writing at my own pace and will. A freebird!
Today morning, I realized that I have written more than hundred posts for my blog and almost another hundred articles for other web-sites and publications. No, I am not bragging but if my mathematics serves me right, with an average of five hundred words per post, I have surely crossed the dreaded fifty thousand word limit in less than two years. A book was possible.
With all due respect to genuine writers, we have to keep in mind that every middle class Indian who speaks the language is either busy writing a novel or dreams of writing one. Engineering colleges have become a writer’s hub after an IIT-ian became a best-seller, with his unpretentious unadorned prose. Critics called his prose pedestrian, but the masses lapped up his stories. With most celebrities writing books, the writing bug is in the air. Don’t be surprised if Rakhee Sawant announces the launch of her tell-tale book with titillating torturous stories of her tiresome life. Ten bucks, she will write a book. Anybody?
Nevertheless, I have had fun venting ire, punching pollies, busting hypocrites, critiquing media and pouring my heart out on this blog. Since I have been wandering in the blogosphere for some time now, let me share some nuggets.
As in television and films there are two ways to gain popularity in blogosphere. The short-cut entails writing controversial articles which ridicule religion, culture, celebrities or saints.
Write why Sachin’s hundred hundreds were a fluke.
Or else, say Katrina and Ms Leone are not sexy; they evoke sisterly feelings.
See how people flock to pelt stones. Then tweet like a sparrow in heat and Facebook as Zuckerberg’s life depends on you. Blogdom is yours a la Madrasan.
If you want the long way home then write well, read other blogs, engage with your readers, be patient, blah, blah….... Hello? So gaye kya? Yes, it takes months and years to get sizeable traffic even if you are good. The bright side is that even if you don’t get readers, you are sure to make wonderful friends.
On to the critics! Jump with joy if you manage to get genuine critics. Respect opinions as blogosphere thrives in the cacophony of arguments. Right now I need genuine critics just as Abhishek needs a hit. If you are a critic, kindly let me know why my blog stats graph resembles the ECG of an Egyptian mummy.
What I have learnt is that readers who neither comment nor blog and yet read my posts whenever they have time, are precious. Since my posts are often satirical, some serious readers fail to get the humor. But thankfully most get it.
Finally, a warning about some perverts who dissuade writers with ‘ma-behen-ki’ flowery lingo or its English version of the ‘F’ variety. Ignore them. The spam takes care of them.
Welcome to the cathartic world of Blogosphere! May the (mass*acceleration) be with you.
Warning: It is addictive!