By now one must have tried all the milkshakes and talcum powders to fight the super hot summer to no avail. So, after meticulous research the following strategies have been devised.
Shut yourself in from the heat and sleep like a polar bear. This way, you can pass through the hot Agni days and come out fairer. Don’t forget to wire yourself to glucose for the energy to sleep.
Buy one of those huge refrigerators they have at 5-Star restaurants and woolen jackets. Now, wear them and take your place in the cold seat. Keep lots of chocolates in the fridge so that it doesn’t turn into a morgue.
Basically get yourself dismissed from this environment, spend a couple of Lakhs and tour Switzerland. Sleep on the snow and put some inside your pocket for the return journey.
File a lawsuit in the High Court of Madras naming the conspirators as Global Warming and Humankind. Make the press notice this. Become a Page3 celebrity and attend conclaves in Air-conditioned lounges.
The only option of mitigation here is fooling your mind. Walk out in the noon sun and say to yourself – “What a wonderful day it is, it just burns beautifully and the sweat is so refreshing”
Gather people who are suffering from the heat the way you are in a common forum. Sit down and discuss ways out of this heat. By the time you can conclude and decide a single common initiative the monsoons would have arrived.
Cover yourself up in green leaves. It’s better than cotton wear. If people look at you oddly, then claim that you are supporting vegetarianism or you are a part of an aforestation movement. Feel the breeze slide through you - as natural as it gets.
Turn your palm towards your face. Now, push your palm all the way down almost trying to touch your wrists. Now go back to Position 1. Continue doing this at a pace of 80 movements per minute. You now have your own hand-fan.
Use Drugs. Those that are available at your local drugstore to avoid the rashes the heat brings on. Always consult your doctor before your pharmacist, though.
It’s got nothing to do with the heat. I was just losing track of rhyming words due to the extreme heat that takes a toll on my creativity. By the way Kiss-Me-Over-The-Garden-Gate is an annual plant with broadly ovate leaves and slender drooping spikes of crimson flowers, commonly found in Southeastern Asia and Australia. Just for your Information.
Now cool down!
(The writer is now sipping some tender coconut and does free-lance work among a busy schedule of sleeping and eating. Feedbacks on twitter : @javeeth
)As Published in the Doorstep - The Magz-paper Vol.1 No.2 : 13 May - 26 May