I am not sure as to what is going to happen. There is high probability that I will have to continue with what I am doing. I hate it, and I don't think I am going to do well in that sphere, but know that their is nothing much that can be done here. I had a chance. And before it can even happen I have probably screwed it up.
Sai is going to be disappointed .
I really think that I need therapy, extensive therapy. I think I am a tinsy bit self destructive. And also I am pretty sure that no psychiatrist can really help me out. I am not fixable.
You have ever thought of how you gonna die? Well, I have. Suicide. No, I am not suicidal, not at the moment at least. But I have thought about it and i am sure that's the way I am going to go. early too. (maybe)
P.S This has to be THE most depressing shit i have ever written.
You know when I write such shit, there is always a qquestion of why? Well, I write these stuffs for two reason.
1. To blow off some steam.
2. If and when, goods days shall come, I will reads these post and laugh out.
I am not sure whether i should publish this not. But I am going to do it anyway.
(I am self destructive you see. I just hope, no one from my family shall see it. will only give way to lecture. Loooong lecture.)