She put her signature at the paper, the crushing anguish shivered through her. In overwhelming dizziness, she conjured the sight of home front. Dealing with sadistic sucking vampire! How she abhorred that life!
Few moment of escape she wanted for her survival from that horribly created anguish at home. She wanted to escape from those people, the suckers! Vampires of life!
They mean to negate and sap one’s vitality, but at this closed, desolate place, with scarce opportunity, the last hope to continue there for her crashed today. The permanent one was returning at his place. Hopelessness engulfed her. Through her frosty sight she conjured her state- she visualized her dealing with them throughout the day.
Few more years advanced, few more crises came and jolted her life. How long all this going to envelope her? She would question herself. When her life would be normal like any other person?
When did she feel some enjoyment? It seemed more than a decade to her when any incident jubilated her to the core. Why happiness had been turning so remote to her? Why one after another she is getting engulfed in the crises she abhorred most.
In the big hall, during meditation session, she felt distracted unable to follow even the simple instruction. She got amazed watching the people who were following the instructors promptly. It amazed how openly people were talking or discussing their problems with masters.
For her there was array of amazement waiting to be unfolded. She was perplexed in many ways. “Is it safe to open up?” She questioned herself, though her heart had long been crying for redressal. In fact she was having problems with bowing down to those simple looking couple. They were teaching the methods, brimming with happiness, smilingly stopping to different people. Several times without any insistence by them she was suggested and told things, which she grasped despite feeling it non convincing.
But then with book of inner journey in hand she stood from there to walk the path of life. “Not so easy, but not that difficult either”, she speculated. The bunch of key to solve the problems was in her hand. Now she had to find right key for right path. Learning, studies, contemplations were now the new additions to her routine.
Few years more added in her life with few more opportunities, few gratifying growth and few more crisis to solve! Still she contemplated and seeks for solution. To chalk the right way to solution, she would mull over the origin, was it inside or outside? And every time she found the origin of problems inside.
She assessed her projection to the world. As a fragile self it was she who presented herself to others, to be taken granted or being utilized. She knew it her projection as a frail self had prompted others to take advantage of her.
Now it was time for her to stop the blame game and to take responsibility to create her life, being strong enough to face compliment and criticism at the ease.
Currently she felt that the outside efforts of correction measures cent percent should be supported by right attitude and clear picture of solution, unfailing, always and permanently.