Never Say No!
Date: 4/18/2012 7:45:00 AM
There are men like whom we want to be, men like whom we hate to be, and then there are men like whom we hate to be but we love to have them around. Don't over-expect, it's long but nothing like the past days of frustration!
Well, for starters, let’s have a look at how do different people behave in a post-graduation college:
1.There's this rich guy, who acts like he's born in a casino in Las Vegas, with a Blackberry & a couple of skinny girls around. Normally, he's up partying & booing others but when near the teacher, he's like so serious that he literally sucks the green of a borrowed pen! Like it's a lollipop. And I'm not talking about him letting it simply touch his lips. I'm talking about him SUCKING IT. God help us all.
2. There's this girl in glasses & out-of-sort-tights. But she has a tendency to waggle her pen like she's conducting a ballet concert. I'm sure this allows information to better flow through the channels in her brain, somehow. Whether she really learns or does that to attract the left-out despo lads of the class, is an unexplored question.
3. Then there's the silent talkers. In case of a question, the subject frequently looks up and stares into the ceiling. Eyes unmoved, as if locked on by the sight of something so frightful he can't turn away from its unmentionably terrible beauty. And then the lips start moving. Fingers unravel one by one from a clenched fist, as if his minds' concocting the most beautiful answer, albeit slowly. And then suddenly, he is normal, looking back down. But then again, they all seem normal, that is until they whip out a gun and start shooting people.
4. And there's an even richer guy (consider him born inside Saddam's palace!) who is a God to the class. Yes. Truly, a God. Never shows up till the exams. Though his name crops up in all sorts of important things throughout the whole term. Me, a coke & my Scorpio- such goes their whole life.
These constitute most of today's generation of learners.
Then there's the rest, which would provide base for the following. These hate lectures. They love to learn from experiences. Don't hesitate. Don't think back. Don't fear to put the wrong put forward. Hell they would lay down Saddam's wealth & a month's pass to the Vegas if they don't feel like doing it. They would jump onto a truck, with their suits on. Would run around in rains while others are afraid. Like to say Yes. They live for the moments. Such people live for the moments.
Enter a friend of mine, who's a true Indian- a Bengali, a Marathi, & a North-Indian by all sorts. When asked for an intro, he says this- According to my friends, I'm: nice but mean; altruistic but selfish; hard-working but lazy; happy but moody; likeable but detestable; open-minded but judgmental; rational but deranged; forgiving but vengeful; accepting but insanely jealous; intelligent but stupid; pleasant but insufferable. The lesson, as always: Human minds are fickle, as a feather in the wind.
Well, I prefer to cut short & take him as a Schizophrenic, its simpler to hear, make out & remember. He comes in that rare 5th category of learners. Won't want to upset him a bit, but I would start right from why most people love to hate him.
1. By the way, did you know, he cleared the engineering entrance & got selected in one of the top colleges- NIT! And he is still doing a Integrated MBA! He doesn't know the college name but he read there for 2 days & left it! Still can't remember the name, place & his branch! He even cleared the CAT exam but instead of slogging it out in an IIM he is sort of enjoying his stay in a small-stage college!
2. And, once he was on the top of the terrace- just a meter’s distance from the next building. He yelled out, in typical Dharmendra-style, "Susaaaiide!" Do you realize, there was 1 long meter of distance between his Life & Death!
3. Okay, he might bluff a bit. But this is not what all bluffers bluff. Out of their league even. He went to Kolkata one fine day, had a 1000 bucks in pocket, & spent it all in... eating Gol Gappas! Really! A 1000 bucks worth Gol Gappas! How many would come.. like, say, around a 1000? That's too less for our hero here, isn't it?
4. Okay, now some serious stuff. When he delivers presentations, you ought to see him man. Its like, words flow like the never-ending Niagra Falls from his mouth. Although phrases like, "As I have already explained," "You all know that," "That is this thing," "Right time, Right place," etc appear like infinite times in his speeches, he displays a feeling of being ever-ready for any topic thrown to him. And once he has started, not even the dean can stop him, let alone the pre-decided 20 minutes or the 2-hour lecture!
5. And, do you know that he has left jobs for 3 times! And what's the total collective experience? 5 years? 2 years? No. Pretty much less that a year. But how does he say that? Well, he makes it appear as if, lets say, his first job was in Microsoft. Why did he leave? "They might seem good from the outset but they deceive people!" His second job, leets say it was at the Tatas. "Too much Indian-ness. Feels like a Government Company!" And lets say his third was at GE. "Too strict. Never let me do what I love to do!"
6. Says he spent 3 days living with the Naxalites of East India. Wao, Man! They gave him good food, talked with him about their experiences, he got hung over with them, & they did not behave rudely with him even once! Even Manmohanji,would have mimicked Mithoonda’s disco stance and said, "Kya baat, Kya baat, Kya baat!"
7. He spends half of his daily life in talking. The other half, is spent at talking on phone! What a good consultant he is! Might as well be profitable if he opens up a hotline! He advises on things like "How could you poop blissfully(!)" to "Who took your pen" to "How India should do at the next budget session" to "How do you stand up and be righteous!" Whew. A lot of gas.
And don't at all ask me what happens when he gets totally drunk. The world goes upside down then, literally.
Well, I wanted to bring you the comic side of this individual. It’s evident why only few people like him. But behind this beery being lies a good friend who stands beside you in every situation, who never backs down on anything, & who never stops trying to do what he loves(that is.. things besides the consulting!) Lets hope he continues to give people joy, in a truer sense.