Date: 4/16/2012 10:58:00 AM
Old & ranting sun, broken white clouds' cover, silence of the chaotic life and I. Up on a cozy bed in a house full of things unknown, unused & unattended to; great food, laughter and total relaxation is what my heart aches for and here I am in my small home in this vaguely familiar city. While the touch of black leather cover and crisp white pages of a diary would have been sensuous, it will be difficult to underplay the usefullness of this blog containing all the good-and-bad of my life.
Why did I start a blog? Who will read it anyway? Is it safe to bare your deepest darkest secrets, desires? Is there a glint of desperation in my eyes or do I always become delirious the moment someone interrupts or interferes?
Anyways what I need today, is a day of freedom. I guess I should shed my polluted skin and then breathe free. I know some rainy day I will open up the room and spill the un-needed on the sidewalk only to make space for more but then it is better than things taking up too much space and rotting.
Today nothing of that, only celebration of yesteryears' fragrant little adventures. I get nostalgic by those feelings.
Why do people confuse freedom with carelessness, selfishness, madness or is it just that its too confusing to decipher?
I don’t know but those moments of pure bliss would never return. I know we, me and freedom, will have to part ways. Society sucks. Seems like the tree of autumn. Leafless, bare.
Nearing on to be enslaved to the societal clutches and traditions, and still longing for a moment, utterly free. My life is more mundane than any other. Curled up inside I go through it splitting into many fragments at each moment. so many identities, so many me. People rarely understand but the rest, they say this world is no place for dreamers.
Many such dreamers, I have seen, shifting under their skin. I wonder how did they vanish into the nothingness of the crowd. Haven’t seen the 'real' them in ages. No contact. Inseparable friends separated, might be, for life. I miss them.
Time to leave the keys. While a diary could go undercover, being my secret sharer while I follow the aroma of a retarded life, I need my blog to speak up aloud. Being clearly understood is a bliss but I know people are going to screw it all, again. Hawk eyed monsters ready to tear your flesh at the blink of an eye.
I will try to meet you regularly before the sun rises from sleep and spills the wine across the sky. Cheerios.