Let’sget straight to the point. Follow them precisely and you will be on the go. Maybe you’ll get the best employee of the year award.
Followthese steps in the order it is mentioned here for best results.
Walk around with a pissed off face
Thefirst thing is to master the poker pissed off serious face. No signs ofhappiness should be coming out of your expression. You can smile internally ifyou want to. This makes people think that you are actually serious about yourwork.People will be afraid to come near you. You will be the, “do not disturbbecause he is working really hard” office guy.
Walkreally fast
Nowthat you have mastered the pissed off face; it’s time to walk fast. It makesyou appear really wanted even though you are useless as shit. It makes peoplefeel that you are part of something really really important.
Noseriously walk fast. Run sometimes as if you are going toattack someone. Peoplerespect you for that.
Talkon the phone as you walk by
Youmight be talking to some mundane friend of yours but you will be viewed as thegod to whom the big heads are talking. Makes other perceive that you are goddamn important.
Carrya notebook with you when you walk (along with a pen (Optional))
Thismakes others think that you are taking notes all along attending meetings.
Shufflethe pages of the notebook from 1 to 180 and 180 to 1. It is not difficult tryit. People will think that you are searching for something important.
Youdon’t have to have the notebook held upright wither. Don’t Worry, I won’t tell.
Nevertell people how busy you are - Directly
Don’tjust go around and tell people how busy you are. You’ll get caught. People haveat least this minimal intelligence with them (I Hope).
Insteadwhen somebody brings up something to you or needs your help, tell them that youare busy and help them anyways and they will think that you are the kindest manon the planet.Or if you are an asshole, don’t help themat all.
Puta “Do not disturb” sign on your Cubicle
Alwaysput up a do not disturb sign on your cubicle;No matter what you are doing.
Browsinginappropriate websites, videos, Chatting on Face book whatever be it. Put onyour headsets; that way people think twice before talking to you and thus leaveyou alone.
BeAssertive
Don’ttake up new jobs very easily; because you are already too busy working your assoff.
Remember
It’sall about Deception. Now go and deceive. God Bless.