Life is a race. People sing eulogies/encomiums to people who have achieved greater heights. Nobody really gives shit about people who struggle hard and yet fail big time. It’s all about getting a podium finish. Isn’t it?This got me thinking. What if a programmer retires? How will the family feel? Here’s a tribute to my own men. :)
Read on.
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I've been married to Kogul for almost 10 years now and like every other urban couple we never shared things orally with others. Rather, we preferred bitching about it online. So I'm sure he will be astonished to find that I have so much to share about him. Coz, he firmly believes that he is not worth even a penny and he will be mightily delighted to know that I have written at length about him. Poor thing.!
This is not an appraisal form/report card. It’s is up his managers to do that. I am his wife, not his manager. I am writing this is to give you an idea how being a programmer ruined his life.
Just after we got married, he came to me and said, “Honey! This stuff is killing me. I don’t know how long I can take this shit.” Now that he has retired, after surviving all these years in this , I think " Aah! Not bad at all.”
The last one year/15 months were special for us for more reasons than the number of bugs that he fixed, number of projects that he designed, millions of dollars of client money he saved. I have been telling Amit, our elder son to look beyond the IT industry. I told him to pursue his dreams. But he was hell bent in choosing a career in IT just like his other friends.
Last summer, there was this event at Kogul’s work place and we tagged along. He hesitated at the beginning to take us to his work place but he gave up eventually. The event was organized in a grand scale and almost every other employee in his company brought their family. A few of the teams were busy with their delivery and dint join the party. All of a sudden, Kogul’s Manager came out of his room, threw a bunch of papers on Kogul’s face and yelled. “How many years Kogul? How many years? Why can’t you pay some more attention and get these simple things done?”
It was a huge shock for the boys to see their father getting a$$-fucked by his manager. And I did notice sly smile in their faces. While we were on our way back home, Amit said “Ma, perhaps you were right about pursuing one’s dreams. I should give it a try some time.”
In a way, it also answered their question about why Kogul came back home all moody and grumpy from work every day. After all, it takes a lot of effort to fake a smile after getting whacked. Isn’t it?
Programming has been the center of his life for over 20 years now. When I watched him work for the first time, he used to spend a lot of time staring at the monitor. He said he felt it to be a meditative experience. Initially, I found it weird but I got used it.
No matter what happened at the office. At home he was an husband, a father, a dutiful son to his parents and a caring boss to his pet dog. He wouldn’t speak about his day at work unless asked. Most of the times he would lie about how he fixed a high priority bug with consummate ease or how he engineered a problem which resulted in saving millions of dollars for his client. But I could sense from his tone that he is lying. And he stopped doing this after that shameful incident. Poor thing.!
Only once I remember him saying that “Honey! When I tested, it worked in my system. Not sure what happened. It failed big time when the QE tested.”
A perfect life – every man’s dream. He has lived his dream and he thinks it's time to move on. I personally feel that its time he took care of himself. After all, one cannot be on the receiving end for a long time. Isn’t it? And now, he needn’t lie to his children about how exciting his day was.
Inspired by this piece >> :) ~ cheers.!