No, he hasn’t given up yet and he would never give up. How could he when she meant everything to him? But he also knew that he could never be with her, as she was too good for him. He was a devil, who punished the bad and she was an angel, who always gave love to everyone. He knew that even she liked him and she would bring sunshine into his life, if he gave himself a chance, but that would be asking for too much. In his opinion, he didn’t deserve a chance after everything that he had done until then. Or did he? He knew not. Nevertheless, he was ready to accept whatever came his way but only after he had finished what he had started.
Only if he was as great as her, only if he could forget everything that had happened in the past, only if he could forgive, then his life would have been lot different. He had spent thousands of sleepless nights, plotting revenge. He had to punish the bad; he believed that is why he was spared when his family was killed in front of his eyes. Was it even possible to forgive? Forgiveness was for the great and he was only a devil. A devil meant to punish the bad.
He was lonely and he believed that nobody cared about him. They did but he couldn’t believe because they weren’t there when he had needed them the most. They knew nothing about how much he hurt inside. How could have he stopped the pain over which he had no control? He had long forgotten how it felt to be not hurting inside. He knew not what it meant to be happy. He was a devil who knew only wrath and woe.
He was a devil, who couldn’t forgive himself for not forgiving the ones who had wronged him. He was a devil, who couldn’t take pleasure in punishing the bad but he had to do it anyway, as it was too late to turn back. He was a devil, who loved an angel but could never be with her, though he would trade anything if it meant that he could be with her.
He wanted to be freed from all his woes. He didn’t want to hate anyone, anymore, as it hurt him more than it did earlier. His heart bled alone in the dark, he cried alone in the dark and he wanted to die alone in the dark. He wanted to just disappear and wished no one would feel his absence, the way they had never heard his crying heart.
He didn’t know whom he hated the most, the bad or himself? He wondered whether he was any different from the ones who had turned his life upside down. Anyway it was too late to become someone who could look into a mirror and say, “I forgive you”. He had gone too far to even consider returning. He was a devil, who punished the bad while he waited the nightmare that he was living to end.
The drama “The Devil
” is the inspiration behind this small write up. Ju Ji Hun
played the DEVIL in the drama and he communicated the hurt and the hatred inside him so beautifully that I couldn’t hate him for hating others. I just ended up falling in love with the character that he played in the drama.