all izzz not well my dear
Blog :/* karthick's blogspace */
Date: 1/24/2012 1:01:00 PM
But it turns out that even I have fallen prey to Paranoia. I am good whenever I have people around me. Or, whenever I keep myself occupied. The real thought process about my paranoia kicks in only when I am alone. I tried to reason it out to myself and tried to figure out the ‘Root cause’. Only, to start a thread within. Imagine a dream a within a dream with N no of levels.
Ain't a pretty site, right?
- That I spend too much time thinking and trying to reason out every other thing that’s happening in my life. Life does have its own erratic occurrences of events and one can’t associate a pattern with it.
- About being helpless. How can I sit back and relax? How can I let things take their own course? How can I be a mere spectator to something happening in my life?
- That people ignore me.
- About how people have a say in every other petty thing I do. I am worried about my privacy.
- About the economic downturn/<insert_some_jazzy_economic_term> that’s threatening the west.
- That she was right.
- About the loss of a dear one.
- About not being able to let go.
- About being yet-another-one in the crowd.
- About failure. The failure which people face when they try to be aloof. When the take the road less travelled.
- About growing old.
- About death. Will I die a horrible death?
- About having to plan meticulously before I take up every little task.
- Why can’t I think on my feet and act accordingly? I am worried about the lack of such ability.
- About my relatively-bad-but-manageable-grammar. About not getting it right before someone points and laughs.
- About thinking high of myself.
- About feeling ashamed of myself.
- About the fact that I had to write a post which nobody is ever gonna read to express myself. Why can’t I say it out loud? Over phone? During a coffee-table-conversation?