For a Friend

Author : Sneha Vakharia      Blog : Blogalog      Date : 4/24/2013 9:08:00 AM

'When I think of you, I feel the warmth of lilac sweaters,Tagore on a squalid afternoon,Long dainty fingers gently brushing behind the over-done side fringe.I see strawberry Cornettos, squinty-eyed giggling andBeautifully articulated confessions of joy at the six-packs of unattainable men.In your unwritten poetry, a sheepish affection,In your brief moments of expressed vulnerability,A glimpse of your inability to share the people you love,But the quiet sadness with which you always m(...)'

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Go Find Her

Author : Sneha Vakharia      Blog : Blogalog      Date : 4/9/2013 11:00:00 AM

'Deep down, he's an indelible romantic, stifled however, by disappointment and self-imposed exile. He's never felt appropriately loved. Nor has he ever met someone who has really moved him. He's wandering in a desert of squalid, wasted personalities, and has gotten so accustomed to disappointment, that he sought the easier route of simply not believing. He taught himself to not believe.So he festers in the morbid breaches of all things mundane, He systematically removes himself from (...)'

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De Ja Vu

Author : Sneha Vakharia      Blog : Blogalog      Date : 2/20/2013 1:37:00 AM

'There's nothing we can say that hasn't been said before.So let's repeat our cliched lines from our cliched scriptsRepeat well documented life experiences,Perceive it through our second-hand lens, stained fromThings we've seen again and again and again,Because even if our fatigue and boredom gets too much,Let us tarry on.We're too young and too bright eyedTo have seen too much just yet.Right?'

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Dearest Maya Angelou,

Author : Sneha Vakharia      Blog : Blogalog      Date : 1/27/2013 5:17:00 PM

'She'd like to be a Phenomenal Woman too.Like you, she isn't built to suit a fashion model's sizeBut she'd like to convince herself that she's cute.She has a big smile, and can write better than okayBut gets ink all over herself when she tries to.The swing in her step works sideways,Which makes her more like a penguin and less like you,Though she tries to read, and tries to think and tries to grow,Because she'd really love to be a phonemenal woman too.She first read about the sp(...)'

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My Vagina

Author : Sneha Vakharia      Blog : Blogalog      Date : 1/22/2013 4:13:00 PM

'; ;; ; ; Is warm.It can resemble any number of landscapes depending on my mood,The weather, the time of the month andWhat movie I’m watching.Who I’m with when I’m watching said movie.;;It’s made some foolish choices in the past, And I almost secetly hope it’ll make some more in the futureIf only so I can write better poetry.I can wear red lipstick, red heelsRed lingerie,And that’s supposed to remind you of my labia, subconsciously.Which is fine, I guess.We’d all best embrace the f(...)'

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The obituary they forgot to write

Author : Sneha Vakharia      Blog : Blogalog      Date : 11/19/2012 2:11:00 PM

'Nitish Bhardwaj left us on October 24th,To transcend into an after-life neither he nor you believe in.He preferred milk over beer, missed some essential sex-ed classes,Cycled with no handle-barsAnd believed in the wholesome therapeutic powerOf Sunny Deol dancing.He is survived by a lovely sister, mother, father,A long-suffering laptop with a damaged screen,Two pairs of unneccessarily tight pants,And a bunch of grotesquely unfit friends,Who will eventually grow fat, will grey, and wi(...)'

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Whatthefuck

Author : Sneha Vakharia      Blog : Blogalog      Date : 10/29/2012 5:11:00 PM

'"How do you measure the life of a woman or a man?In truths that she learnedOr in times that he criedIn bridges he burnedOr the way that she died."?Dear Universe,The next time you feel the need to bitch-slap the crap out of me or those I love, just send us a facebook note or a motivational meme or something, okay?PS: Seriously?Or the way that she died '

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Agar Tum Padh Rahe Ho

Author : Sneha Vakharia      Blog : Blogalog      Date : 10/24/2012 12:51:00 PM

'In the twilight between sleep and awakeness I heard you whisper three words.I could have turned around and said them back.Then again, you could have said them louder.But an untimely death relinquishes one of all blame,So I guess it's my fault.If I knew that the body I was fervently making love to, would, in the matter of hours, become ash and navel in muck and water,I would have smelt you more intently, one last time,And asked you how you manage to smell of fresh laundry after two h(...)'

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Waiting

Author : Sneha Vakharia      Blog : Blogalog      Date : 10/23/2012 5:01:00 PM

'If I was a prodigy, by my age, I would already know.At my age, World Cups have been won,Microsofts and Facebooks have been founded,Lives promised to service,To people, to writing.Everyday, I'm increasingly aware that it is too late to be genius at anything at all,And every tick of the clock is a reaffirmation of the consciousness that I amA mild deviation from the norm, at best,And at worst, one in seven billion.Heck, I'm not even the only Sneha Vakharia on Facebook.Competing with t(...)'

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Writer's Block

Author : Sneha Vakharia      Blog : Blogalog      Date : 10/3/2012 5:37:00 PM

'I'm digging digging digging up the EarthBut creating only mounds of dirt.'

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Learning To Ride A Bicycle

Author : Sneha Vakharia      Blog : Blogalog      Date : 9/28/2012 10:49:00 AM

'Should have happened long ago.But you, you who had sex before you fell in love,And you, who could afford a Keane concert before you could afford the album CD,Dare not judge.You, who had sex before you fell in love,Watched and giggled into your thousand dollar phone while I struggled at the edge of a hill,Pedalling one arduous circle after another,And watched with the amused wonder we usually reserve for fifteen year olds claiming to be in love,While I slid backwards, flipflopped lef(...)'

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Nemeses

Author : Sneha Vakharia      Blog : Blogalog      Date : 9/27/2012 5:34:00 AM

'You'de read this right is you took the SATOr are the nerdy kind who can read math-Didi: Manmohan' subsidy cut ::Romney's Cadillac : Romney's mutt::The Not Black Shirt joke: Borat.'

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Would this count as subliminal advertizing?

Author : Sneha Vakharia      Blog : Blogalog      Date : 9/19/2012 3:55:00 PM

'If you're wooing a guy, your time's well spentOn a well-timed and worded compliment.You could make his day,If you were to say:"That's... bigger even than Romney's 47 percent".'

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Why I Should Be Writing More Limericks

Author : Sneha Vakharia      Blog : Blogalog      Date : 9/16/2012 5:23:00 AM

'But haven't been able to.My sex-joke writer's block, I regret,Hasn't waned at all, as of yet.Even though chocolate and sex,Are decidely subjects,One thinks about more, the less one gets.'

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Grow a Vagina

Author : Sneha Vakharia      Blog : Blogalog      Date : 7/14/2012 7:05:00 AM

'(It's far less temperantal and fragile than the male equivalent)That unwanted curve in a lycra dress,The three taut lines on the side of my green jeans,The whiff of a line under the chinThe light ripple of fat when I wave goodbye,The littlle handle that protudes from the back when I bend over,The undesirable hint of darkness on the extremeties of my face,The malice with which my painstakingly painted nails chip,The geography of toes that resolutely never stay together,The awkward du(...)'

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Polygamous Nicole

Author : Sneha Vakharia      Blog : Blogalog      Date : 7/7/2012 1:35:00 PM

'Also written a while ago:Her three lovers, polygamous Nicole,Tried hard to console and cajole."Why d'you think I'm equippedSo generously withA mouth and two distinctive holes?".'

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The Drunk Friend From Kathmandu

Author : Sneha Vakharia      Blog : Blogalog      Date : 7/7/2012 1:34:00 PM

'This is actually one I'd written a couple of months ago:My drunk friend from KathmanduWas turned down for a night of screw.He threw a loud fit,"I won't stand for it!""Oh hun" she said, "you wouldn't have been able to."'

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Kids are Fools

Author : Sneha Vakharia      Blog : Blogalog      Date : 7/7/2012 5:52:00 AM

'The Real Hansel and Gretel isn't about sweets.It's painfully explicit and indiscrete.We've been fooled all this while.The witch was a pedophile,And (duh!) it wasn't candy they were forced to eat.'

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Her First Month at Work

Author : Sneha Vakharia      Blog : Blogalog      Date : 7/4/2012 7:51:00 AM

'Within a month of employement, requested sheA change in supervisor, her audacity!When asked why, she replied with frivolous ease:"As a mentor and a part-time squeeze,He just wasn't sufficiently hard on me."'

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Things that go wrong in twos

Author : Sneha Vakharia      Blog : Blogalog      Date : 7/3/2012 1:53:00 PM

'Things go wrong in twos:Like a left foot in a right shoeMeans the right one's not where it ought.And when a porno is a commercial flopIt means his member flopped too.'

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