Save the world, don't fall for puzzles

Author : Blah Man      Blog : Funny Side Up      Date : 5/17/2013 10:51:00 AM

'If there is one thing that has freaked me out since I was a kid, it's puzzles. All kinds of them - the verbal ones, the written ones, the disguised as math problem ones, the Internet ones, and the latest in the series- the what's app ones ( they, my friend, are the scariest ). As a young boy with a curious mind, I often tried to attempt puzzles when they came my way but could never quite figure'

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Egg Love'ya

Author : Blah Man      Blog : Funny Side Up      Date : 3/23/2013 6:03:00 PM

'Dear half fried, Let me start by thanking you for all the joy you have brought to my life over thousands of breakfasts in the last 3 decades. Even though I have known you for so long now, I still get thrilled like a child, anticipating which way you'd flow when I poke you out of your inertia. The excitement of slowly traversing through the white to arrive at your bright and happy yolk at'

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On food, life and the new year

Author : Blah Man      Blog : Funny Side Up      Date : 12/30/2012 8:30:00 PM

'The new year is just a day away. It's in times like these that I turn into this person who is capable of some real introspection. This evening, as I sat in the warm comforts of my quilt, sipping on a delightful cup of latte, and doing my bit of the annual deep thinking, a sudden realization struck me- Deep inside me, in the core of of my soul, where the seed of my existence is supposed to'

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Dear Rodney

Author : Saad Ahmed      Blog : Funny Side Up      Date : 11/20/2012 6:00:00 PM

'Dear Rodney,We haven't been formally introduced but I am sure you know me. I am the guy who lived in this room before you took it over. For some time now, I have been wanting to have a heart to heart talk with you but I guess our sleep cycles don't match, so instead, I decided to leave you this note.Did you know Ratinson? If you are related to him in any manner, let me tell you foremost that'

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I love ketchup; here's why

Author : Saad Ahmed      Blog : Funny Side Up      Date : 8/27/2012 1:40:00 PM

'There's an ongoing war between those who love ketchup, and those who hate it. Whether ketchup democratizes taste or makes everything taste reassuringly predictable, is a point that doesn't look like getting resolved.  I am a ketchup lover, but to me, it's not about the taste. I would rather take the ketchup out of this whole 'taste' domain and replace it within a framework of 'enjoyment'.'

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I just don't get the queue

Author : Saad      Blog : Funny Side Up      Date : 8/23/2012 10:46:00 AM

'There's something about queues that upsets me. The idea of being a part of a linear arrangement, in anticipation of a fair opportunity at the end of it, has never really appealed to me. It is easy to ascribe these feelings to my North-Indian origin, where general disregard for order of any kind is instilled in every individual. We, the people from North -India, are quite Darwinian in our'

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The Rise of the Road Toads ( or simply, how to handle rage- crazy drivers on the roads)

Author : Saad      Blog : Funny Side Up      Date : 8/4/2012 7:58:00 PM

'Does your self esteem take a blow every time you take your car out on the roads? Do you find yourself incapable of suitably responding to aggressive, unwarranted gestures of other drivers? Do you, at times, get frustrated and consider giving up driving all together?If your answer to any of these questions is a little nod with closed eyes, and a pained expression, then you are probably suffering'

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R.I.P Ratinson: An Obituary for My House Rat

Author : Saad      Blog : Funny Side Up      Date : 7/27/2012 8:16:00 AM

'Pobert Ratinson , the much hated rat of the Ahmed household passed away yesterday . He was found lying belly up , mouth open , and tail twisted underneath the bed in the smaller room the house.  Ratinson is his happier , alive days Ratinson had taken the house as his own a week ago after he got an opportunity to sneak in through the front door, possibly left open by the other most hated'

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The Theory of Quinque Nuisances

Author : Saad      Blog : Funny Side Up      Date : 7/20/2012 6:26:00 AM

'There are these times when you feel that you’ve discovered something big. In the days of yore, you could express your ecstasy of discovery by running out of your bath tub sans clothes and well meaning people would write about it in good spirit. Not anymore.  Thanks to this space here, I can put down some serious, profound, and thought provoking stuff and be at peace with myself. On the'

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A diary entry from an airplane

Author : Saad      Blog : Funny Side Up      Date : 7/11/2012 8:08:00 AM

'Aboard a Delhi bound, 2 hour flight, I am realising that flying in an airplane, unless you are flying one yourself, can be a really boring experience. You are strapped to your seat, forbidden from using your phone, forced to eat meagre portions of sick, gut wrenching food and above all, expected to behave yourself. You could also find yourself in the company of extremely gifted people who can'

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The 7 magnificent ways to keep yourself busy ( when you find yourself useless)

Author : Saad      Blog : Funny Side Up      Date : 7/3/2012 1:01:00 PM

'Sometimes, lack of work can drive you nuts. Especially, if you have never known what it means to be without work. A first, it might not appear to be a bad thing, but this sense of misplaced freedom can be baffling. It can kill you. Recently, my work-life balance got quite messed up due to all the 'excess' life. It was a painful phase full of listlessness and boredom. I found myself behaving as'

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Coffee and the Sunday evening ritual

Author : Saad      Blog : Funny Side Up      Date : 6/29/2012 11:16:00 AM

'Remember the face that you make when you have really bad coffee? The one in which you first flinch , then put your tongue out ,then shake your head vigorously and shudder before slamming the cup back on the table? I just made it. The thing about coffee, I mean good coffee, is that it really gets you thinking. The dose of caffeine enveloped in a bitter taste, accentuated by a warm aroma,'

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Five lies that the world has been telling us

Author : Saad      Blog : Funny Side Up      Date : 6/17/2012 1:26:00 PM

'The world as we know it, isn't a very believable. There is a lot of trash floating around and you've really got to be careful about what you buy into. In fact, I have been living with a sense of being fooled for a while now.As a kid, I was thrilled everytime I lost a tooth. I would carefully take it out of the house, bury it under the moist soil and then water the place regularly, hoping for'

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My Running Log

Author : Saad      Blog : Funny Side Up      Date : 6/12/2012 3:23:00 PM

'I realised that my mind is at its best when I am out for a run. Reading through my thoughts during a typical 30 min run can be an intellectually stimulating experience if you can handle all the heavy stuff. Here's an example:0-5 mins: I hate this stretching module. I also hate cars because they can get started without needing to warm up. That's probably because cars feed on petrol and I eat some'

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If I had written Twilight

Author : Saad      Blog : Funny Side Up      Date : 5/27/2012 12:41:00 PM

'I can spin quite a story but there are some subjects that I find myself absolutely incapable of writing on. For example , Romance . The reason for my ineptness is not really the lack of words or ideas but the sheer inappropriateness of ideas to the subject . I think that nonsense is so deeply rooted into my thinking that churning out anything remotely meaningful is out of question. A few days'

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How to be a Fruit Jedi

Author : Saad      Blog : Funny Side Up      Date : 5/23/2012 5:58:00 PM

'One of the most underrated tasks in the world is the task of buying fruits. Think about it, all fruits look equally fresh and inviting. The sly fruit seller carefully conceals the rotten ones amongst its healthier cousins,making the task of identifying it impossible.In fact, the process of buying fruits is quite a spectacle. Men and women push, shove and elbow each other to lay their hands on'

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Khul ja Gym-Gym

Author : Saad      Blog : Funny Side Up      Date : 5/20/2012 11:32:00 AM

'I was a fat kid. A really fat one. One of the most distinct memories I have is that of this pretty girl from my 5th grade , asking me to teach a lesson to this brat by sitting on him. The good thing about being a kid is that you don't get the implicit insults, so I obliged. I sat on the guy and ate his lunch. He never misbehaved after that. That was then. As I grew up, I realised the'

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Turning Tomato

Author : Saad      Blog : Funny Side Up      Date : 5/14/2012 6:20:00 PM

'They say, I can't handle awkward situations. Apparently, it is quite easy to embarrass and turn me red. For around 3 decades now,I have selflessly served as a source of entertainment for those who derived sadistic pleasure in watching me melt into a pool of abhashedness, simply, by talking about unacceptable topics (like the color of someone's underwear).I credit myself for being a great'

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The Art of Bullshitting

Author : Saad      Blog : Funny Side Up      Date : 5/7/2012 6:08:00 PM

'Everyone wants to be an office ninja. It takes years of perseverance and practice to attain the status of one. But to a chosen few, who are exceptionally gifted, this comes easy. I had my moment of epiphany in a train journey . I was reading something esoteric to feel intelligent ( I often do this when I travel ) and stumbled upon the mention of a book that talked about the art of cold reading.'

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My 5 Gifts

Author : Saad      Blog : Funny Side Up      Date : 4/29/2012 10:13:00 AM

'I am not exactly a talented person. Unless you considered brushing teeth in record time a talent, I have nothing much to boast about. But every now and then I have marvelled at a few things that I think I am very good at. It might not be worth much but I thought I should share the secret of their perfect execution. It might help a few people feel good about themselves.1. The shampoo mohawk :'

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