Ho Hey!

Author : Kanika      Blog : Sensitive Chaos      Date : 6/17/2013 5:28:00 AM

'Here I am, sitting with the lights off at 10 am because the cloudy skies and torrential downpour outside are exponentially beautiful this way (and I can ignore the thoughts of how much mud is being generated right now), sipping a steaming hot cup of sheer chai, very impatiently waiting for my flipkart orders to reach me, also sheepish because I know this post is LONG LONG LONG LONG LONG overdue.Hello chaos and chaosmakers, I'm here finally, over the initial time-and-space-eatin(...)'

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Beginning / End

Author : Kanika      Blog : Sensitive Chaos      Date : 5/17/2013 7:21:00 PM

'Over the past week, I had to pack up my Bangalore life into cartons and suitcases. Somehow shut 4 years of memories & love and happiness and relationships into boxes and send them back home. And then I had to leave too.Of course it did not hit me till the taxi driver called and asked for directions, & suddenly I was blubbering and tearing up over the phone. I spent 4 years waiting to leave this place and when I was at the end all I wanted was another day in that house, makin(...)'

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Hello Again

Author : Kanika      Blog : Sensitive Chaos      Date : 5/8/2013 1:15:00 AM

'I don't know if anyone realised I was quiet but I know you did.I feel like I'm writing too many "I love you & I'm sorry for being MIA" letters to my blog in the recent past. But I'm entitled to it - hey, it's my last week in college. You will not believe the crazy things I need to do so that my college will let me graduate. Let's not get into it.Anywho, it's been an all-nighter with nice music and Snickers-breaks, and I can finally sense how close going home is, but it's still j(...)'

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Open-Air Madness

Author : Kanika      Blog : Sensitive Chaos      Date : 4/23/2013 6:46:00 PM

'I just want to go home where things will be too far away to weigh down on me.'

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Punctuating

Author : Kanika      Blog : Sensitive Chaos      Date : 4/21/2013 5:50:00 AM

'Happy birthday to a very tired-sounding mother.Speaking to my family is not a regular deal for me; we probably have a 15 minute conversation every two-three days. It makes me miss home horrendously, even after 4 years of being away from them. I always know what'll be happening at home when I get a call; I can hear people talking in the background and I can hear my father's old hindi music blasting from the speakers and I can hear my grandmother asking how much rice to cook and my si(...)'

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The First Day of Spring

Author : Kanika      Blog : Sensitive Chaos      Date : 4/20/2013 11:34:00 AM

'I haven't felt this low in what feels like forever. I don't know why I feel like this and that's scary. Something is weighing down on me without my permission. My brain feels violated. I don't like how people rejoice so much in the control they have over you and they misuse it. It's so incredibly infuriating and the word 'unfair' has lost its meaning because I've thought it so much.I hate what's happening. "It's the first day of spring,And my life is starting over again,Well th(...)'

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Here I Am

Author : Kanika      Blog : Sensitive Chaos      Date : 4/19/2013 6:19:00 AM

'No sleep, no Coca Cola, no fast internet. The three things that make my days easier have all been robbed by the burglar known as "Last Week Of Your Last Semester", a.k.a "All My Faculty Members Have Planned All The Submissions For All Courses This Week."I'm in so much stress and panic, yet I'm having far too many I-don't-care moments.How's your week?'

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Everything's Not Lost

Author : Kanika      Blog : Sensitive Chaos      Date : 4/12/2013 6:48:00 PM

'There it was, I had it, my moment of everything-just-hit-me-all-at-once-what-am-i-doing-everything-sucks, and I handled it better than I ever thought I could.And best of all, I had at friend to help me along, in that 10 seconds of silent chaos.Everything is okay, and it will be, because the universe will always turn itself back up again and the sun will shine again new.I will be okay, come darkness or light, the lows of loneliness or the highs of the contentment. Coldplay will alway(...)'

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Trouble

Author : Kanika      Blog : Sensitive Chaos      Date : 4/11/2013 7:50:00 PM

'How can I quell the rant in my head currently?- 30 effective days till college is over. And my room is so warm and lovely at this moment and I hate to think of college getting done with, it was supposed to feel longer and fulfil me some more.- fight that slump which has been winning its daily wars with sleep.things are so uncertain it's frightening.i need reassurance and hugs.'

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Lost Causes & Midnight Chocolate Breaks

Author : Kanika      Blog : Sensitive Chaos      Date : 4/9/2013 5:00:00 PM

'To say it doesn't affect me would be a giant, stinking lie.Anyone who's known me for more than half a second is aware of my habit of getting overly attached to everything and everyone that/who is nice to me in the vaguest manner, even they don't mean to be nice and accidentally showed me some courtesy. It's a horrendously weak habit to be a slave to, because strange things can make you feel too shitty for words and stranger things can make you smile. Sometimes I'm confused(...)'

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Enticing Solitude

Author : Kanika      Blog : Sensitive Chaos      Date : 3/30/2013 4:09:00 PM

'If I write more, will I love more?If the lights go off, will the darkness open up for us?So much pain and love hangs in the air right now.---A blog award slipped right past, but I'm giving it the attention it deserves now. Akanksha, you lovely thing, thank you! :)So the rules of this 'Creative Blogger' award are:1. Thank the blogger and link back to their blog.done and done!2. a) Tell us three things about yourself.one, I'm a hothead.two, I love to sing!three, I always take hot wate(...)'

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The Beach Calls!

Author : Kanika      Blog : Sensitive Chaos      Date : 3/23/2013 8:47:00 AM

'Here are some pictures of my ultra cool and cozy room, which I'll be away from for another 4 days because, I AM GOING TO GOA!*CUE GIRLISH HIGH-PITCHED SHRIEKING*Last night all my housemates and I had such a blast trying on each other's clothes and exchanging them for the duration of our mid-semester break! Full on girly sleepover.I made all those giant posters! ^:)So guys, miss me for another 4 days, and then I'll be back with pictures of me in decent clothes :)Love in much exciteme(...)'

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The (Highly Beautiful) Fault in our Stars

Author : Kanika      Blog : Sensitive Chaos      Date : 3/19/2013 5:01:00 AM

'Last night at 2 am, I was reduced to a blithering, sobbing version of me, just because of some words written by this guy I hadn't heard that much about, about people I hadn't met but knew and understood completely (just marveling at the fact that a book can make me feel as shitty as it did. I'm always surprised by how much books can mean to a person if you give them time and space and love.)I reached page number 260, curled up in bed with my fairy lights on, almost too agg(...)'

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!

Author : Kanika      Blog : Sensitive Chaos      Date : 3/14/2013 5:16:00 AM

'*roommate leaves**cue dramatic singing into hairbrush in front of mirror* "Now that she's back in the atmosphereWith drops of Jupiter in her hair, hey, heyShe acts like summer and walks like rainReminds me that there's time to change, hey, heySince the return from her stay on the moonShe listens like spring and she talks like June, hey, hey Tell me did you sail across the sunDid you make it to the Milky Way to see the lights all fadedAnd that heaven is overrated Tel(...)'

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How To Start Your Day - Lessons in Life 101

Author : Kanika      Blog : Sensitive Chaos      Date : 3/13/2013 11:38:00 AM

'Saw this here.I'm going to try and and think about this every morning, after I'm done whining about getting up.You guys don't comment and it makes me sad.Ok bye.'

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Good Child

Author : Kanika      Blog : Sensitive Chaos      Date : 3/11/2013 12:01:00 PM

'I've been:working,sitting properly and upright so that my aching back heals,nursing aching wrists from too much laptop love,watching Brit sit-coms and laughing really hard,drinking lots of hot nice tea,wistfully checking out the flipkart book section (BTW, Priyanka (here's her blog) had gifted me a flipkart e-voucher for making her header, and the book I ordered with that is here :) The Fault in Our Stars.)staying in the quiet of my roomputting up postersdrawing and smiling.How've y(...)'

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Love On Top

Author : Kanika      Blog : Sensitive Chaos      Date : 3/5/2013 4:55:00 PM

'-I woke up with such hopes today but they've all gone to shit.I got unnecessarily angry with everyone for reasons unknown, then tried to make up for it, but it didn't work.-I tried to work without stressing but that didn't happen either.Stress used to push me to work and do a pretty decent job, but in the last few weeks it's been only detrimental. One a.m. stress-induced crying and serious instances of self-doubt are constant friends.-I also realised how much of a hypocrit(...)'

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Day & Night

Author : Kanika      Blog : Sensitive Chaos      Date : 3/3/2013 12:47:00 PM

'"When I'm counting up my demons,Saw there was one for every day,With the good ones on my shoulder,I drove the other ones away. If you ever feel neglected,If you think all is lost,I'll be counting up my demons, yeah,Hoping everything's not lost."Everything is difficult and hard and I want to curl up into a ball of warmth with you and never wake up. Tell me that we can live our joint life in a blanket full of love and denial? Please?Love,Kanika'

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Stress and all its friends

Author : Kanika      Blog : Sensitive Chaos      Date : 3/1/2013 4:40:00 AM

'Turns out that the week-long eye twitch you've been suffering is caused by stress and too much caffeine. Er...Till I deal with that, this word (and action) needs to become illegal: FAFF.Ok, back to excruciating eye-twitch worthy work.'

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Aha!

Author : Kanika      Blog : Sensitive Chaos      Date : 2/21/2013 8:44:00 PM

'There it is, that drive, that purpose, that motivation that eluded me for months. That want to really do something and not sit on my now-fat ass and watch TV shows all day.Not saying I'll let Breaking Bad go so easily :PHELLO BLOG!I LOVE YOU!'

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